Once Upon a Time in Coolville
by Cajun Charmer
Summary: If you like fast cars, loads of action and big romance stories, this is the last story you wanna read, it's packed full with dogs, babies and Brotherhood members called Jim. Not for Evan Likers, lets just say 'he ate my processed cheese bub'.


**Once Upon a Time, In Coolville**

****

**Hello, I have tried to write serious fics, tried and tried, and failed, so, I decided I would just write nonsensical ones.**

**The brotherhood war room...**

**Lance stood up and banged his mallet on the table.**

**"Okay, I would like to congratulate out newest member Jim, who built us this fabulous new war room" Lance sat down again everybody clapped and Jim bowed.**

**There was a long pause, all the brotherhood members looked around at each other.**

**"Okay, Pietro darling, I think we should talk about that thing you had planned" Lance nudged Pietro who was staring at Tabitha.**

**He quickly came back to reality. "Oh, um, yeah, I....think we, should...." He looked around the room "Start-making-our-own- paper-clips, think-of-the-money-we-would-save" He smiled.**

**"Alllllright, that's a possibility" Lance said "But, Pietro, sweetie, what about, that other thing, you know, the thing about the, um, dog"**

**Pietro stared at him, a puzzled look in his face.**

**"You know, the thing, c'mon darling, we don't want people to think this war room was a big waste of time, and money do we?"**

**Everybody looked at Pietro.**

**"Ohhhhh, that thing, yeah, I-think-we should...go see the circus, yeah, that's it, we-should-go-and-see-the-circus"**

**"You see, Pietro, honey, that's why you're the boss" Lance clicked his fingers and pointed at him. "Why don't we go right now?" Lance stood up and took his jacket that was handed to him by a random hand.**

**"Wait a minute yo, whats that gotta do with a dog, and what was that thing about the paper clips" Todd looked up at Lance.**

**"Um...lets go quicker" Lance walked quickly out the door.**

**"And Pietro's not the boss, you are" Todd was on his own, talking to him self. "How come everybody ignores me?"**

**A caveman walked past and shrugged.**

**Meanwhile, in the institute...**

**Rogue was sitting by herself wallowing in self-pity.**

**Kurt was complaining about everybody hating him because he looks different.**

**Storm was in her 'crazy plants state' and just sat upstairs talking to her flora.**

**Logan was eating some processed cheese. (In joke)**

**Professor X was playing pinball on Cerebro.**

**Evan was getting brutally beaten.**

**Beast was brutally beating Evan.**

**Kitty was talking on the phone to a double-glazing salesman, even he was getting bored.**

**Jamie was seeing how many times he could put a hat on with out getting tired.**

**Bobby was eating toast (With jam).**

**Rahne was talking to a squirrel.**

**Jubilee was getting ignored by everybody, just as usual.**

**Sam was also eating toast (With jam).**

**Roberto was checking his figure.**

**Scott buying a new car because his old one was blown up, again.**

**Jean was watching.**

**So anyway, it was just like a normal day, only, five new members were on the doorstep, ready to do their bidding.**

**Professor X's study...**

**"Now Kitty, how many times, double glazing salesmen aren't toys..." Professor X pointed at kitty, she looked at the floor and nodded.**

**"Kitty, don't do that, you're not wriggling out of this one young lady" His voice grew hard.**

**"I know" Kitty sighed and nodded again.**

**"CHARLES!!!" Storm called from the bottom of the stairs.**

**"YEAH!!!!" Charles called back.**

**"THERE'S A GROUP OF BABIES AT THE DOOR!!!!!" Storm shouted.**

**"TELL THEM THEY SMELL AND THAT THEY SHOULD GO AWAY!!!!!!" Professor X grabbed kitty by the neck and threw her out the study door.**

**"CHARLES!!!!!!!!!!, THEY WON'T GO, THEY SAY IT'S URGENT!!!!" Storm walked off into the kitchen.**

**"FINE!!!!" He shouted, he got his comb out of his draw and looked in the mirror combing his scalp, he then put his shades on and went down stairs mumbling to him self "If you're gonna do something, make sure Storm's one hundred miles away before you do it"**

**The professor came to the door to see a giant handbag, a Baby with a green jacket on, a poodle and two other babies who had red and white dresses on.**

**"What the...." The professor looked at all of them one after the other.**

**"Mr.X?" The Baby in the Green Coat said.**

**"That's professor X, and don't you forget it!" The Professor pointed at them, then scowled threateningly.**

**"Sorry, my name is Super Baby, I am of the Baby Crusade, we heard that this was a school for gifted youngsters, we are gifted and we are youngsters" The rest of the Baby Crusade smiled, and the Bag just unzipped a bit.**

**"So.......?" Professor led them on with his hand.**

**"So, can't you guess?" Super Baby looked at him puzzled.**

**The professor stared at him, wide eyed.**

**"We wanna join the institute" Super Baby sighed.**

**"Well, you would have to live with Rex, the Chihuahua." He crossed his arms in thought.**

**Scott entered the room, hearing what the professor said.**

**"Why, there are five spare rooms?" Scott rubbed his head.**

**The professor covered half his face with his hand and whispered to Scott. "Shut Up, they are so close to going away" he put his finger to his lips and went shooosh.**

**Scott shrugged "Whatever, I gotta get ready for work, at the burger bar" Scott then left.**

**"Oh well, come on in" The Baby Crusade entered and looked around the hall.**

**"Dinner's at six, breakfast at seven, and disco nights are every Thursday, wear a hat" The professor smiled to him self, lost in thought.**

**Scott walked in again; he was wearing a huge chicken costume, carrying the mask in his right hand.**

**"Scott, have a nice day at work" The professor waved, still not in the real world.**

**"Yeah.........work" Scott rolled his eyes and left.**

**Meanwhile at the circus.......**

**"Pietro darling what a wonderful idea" Lance stood up to look at the elephant walking on stage.**

**"Well, I-actually-didn't-think-of-it, the-psychic-leprechaun-that-lives-on-my-shoulder-told-me" Pietro smiled dimly. Everybody**

**took a few steps away from him.**

**"You know what, this is not fair" Fred said, from outside.**

**"Why?" Pietro asked.**

**"Because the circus said I wasn't aloud in, it's bias against overweight people" Fred began to cry. "I want my stuffed brownie, he'll make me feel better" he hugged the air, then cried himself to sleep.**

**"What's that Mr.Psychic, you want me to murder the ringmaster?" Pietro was talking to his shoulder, and looked around from time to time, evil in his eyes. Everybody took another step away from him.**

**"I think this is a most enjoyable afternoon" Jim spoke in a high-pitched British accent, and never took his eyes off the elephant. Everybody stared at him, except for Fred who was asleep and Pietro, who had mysteriously disappeared.**

**"Okay, you may have built a wicked war room yo, but, please never speak again as long as you live?" Todd looked around to see if anyone heard his joke, but everybody ignored him.**

**A beep sounded at the top of the tent "Okay, next we have Phil the incredible jumping pigeon, what the !!! A deranged maniac has run on with a knife, chasing after the seals, calling them the ringmaster!!! Either the circus has changed the schedule, or, JUDGMENT DAY IS HERE!!!!!!" The narrator got off his chair and jumped out the window, screaming and pulling his hair out.**

**Meanwhile, at the institute...**

**"Kurt, stop wallowing in self pity and come down to disco night, remember to that wear hat!!" Rogue marched into the main hall wearing a red dress and an Indian hat.**

**"You look lovely chere" Gambit came up to Rogue, wearing a yellow and blue hat with a propeller on the top.**

**"Shut up, stupid morahn" Rogue crossed her arms and pouted.**

**"All you needed to do was ask" Remy wiped a tear from the corner of eye and then ran off in full tears. Rogue looked at the place Remy ran out of, and just stared for about five minutes.**

**"Let me present our newest DJ, DJ Charles!" Storm stepped out the way of the door and clapped.**

**The professor wheeled in wearing sunglasses, a big curly wig and orange outfit. "Okay, people, DJ Charles is in da house!!" He waved his hands rapidly and then took his place on the DJ stand.**

**"Okay everybody, let the disco begin" Ororo shouted.**

**"Wait" kitty shouted, "Evan isn't here yet!"**

**"Yeah, I killed him, with a club, he ate my processed cheese" Logan growled.**

**Everybody laughed.**

**"Really" Logan looked surprised.**

**Everybody laughed even harder.**

**Logan shrugged, Remy cried, Evan died, Charles grooved, Ororo smiled, Pietro laughed, Fred Snored, Jim Cowered, Todd was ignored and Super Baby and the Baby Crusade kicked mega ASS!!!**

**That's all; this is just an introduction to a load of stories, until next time, R&R.**


End file.
